


The Promise

by HighWarlockIvy



Category: Shadowhunters
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Happy ending sex, Hurt Magnus Bane, Hurt/Comfort, Magnus is afraid of death, Protective Alec Lightwoood, but Catarina saves the day, but not graphic, cause I'm not good at that, lots of blood, magnus is dying, so it's okay, why am I crying at my own writing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-01
Updated: 2017-01-29
Packaged: 2018-09-14 01:17:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 20,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9150400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HighWarlockIvy/pseuds/HighWarlockIvy
Summary: When Alec gets a call from Isabelle one morning while at Magnus', she tells him that they have a lead on Jace. She asks for Magnus' assistance in the mission, and although Alec is reluctant, Magnus promises that he will be okay.But promises are easily broken.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> HAPPY NEW YEARS!!! AND HAPPY SHERLOCK DAY!!!
> 
> I hope everyone is excited for a new year, because I am! Just don't want to go back to school though! Ugh! 
> 
> I wasn't really ready to post my next chapter to DOTE, but I wanted to give you guys something for New Years and what better than angst! And I can't update tomorrow because I have a color guard rehearsal from 9 am to 6 pm! Ugh! 
> 
> Anyways, I am done rambling, and I hope you enjoy the feels.

Light peaked through the window's curtains of Magnus' bedroom, giving the apartment a peaceful golden, fluorescent glow. The sounds of the city below them just outside being something they were used to, therefore it doesn't wake the two men wrapped around each other for a while. Magnus' arm hung over Alec's bare, shirtless side, and Alec's leg did the same to Magnus' lower half. They were cocooned together. It was nice. 

Magnus' eyes fluttered open gently, and Alec's eyes did the same. They smiled when they saw each other. Alec caressed Magnus' smile with this thumb. "Morning," Alec mumbled, sleep still deep in his voice.

"Morning to you," Magnus responded. 

They didn't say anything for minutes to come. They just stayed like that; smiling like love-struck idiots and rubbing each other's skin softly. Magnus hummed as Alec leaned over to kiss the top of his nose. Magnus thought about how much Alec had changed since the day he grabbed him by the lapels of his jacket and pulled him into a kiss. 

He'd become more open in his affections, less reserved. It wasn't until Alec had exploded at his mother's bigotry words against him that Alec had exclaimed no one could "talk to my boyfriend like that". 

Boyfriend... 

It felt nice to know someone else thought of you that way; thought of you as someone you could trust. And Alec trusted Magnus, as did Magnus trust Alec. He trusted Alec with his life, and that was probably the first time he'd ever said that he would trust a Shadowhunter with his life. 

Okay, maybe not true. There was Will, and Tessa, and of course Jem. He wondered how Tessa was handling things, since Will's death and Jem's transformation into a Silent Brother. He wondered how Jem was handling things at the Silent City. He wondered if Will was watching them from above.

Oh, Magnus though funnily, of course he was. He always will be.

"Are you okay?" Alec's voice brought Magnus out of his thoughts.

Magnus smiled. "Yes, why wouldn't I be?"

Alec's lips twitched, knowing he was lying. "Well, you just look sad."

Magnus frowned. "How can I be sad, when I'm here in your arms?"

Alec relaxed then, chuckling. "Touché."

Magnus smiled gently. "I am okay, just thinking."

Alec leaned closer to the Warlock. "What about?"

Magnus shrugged. "Remnants of the past, I suppose." 

"Care to share?" Alec asked.

Magnus blinked. "It's nothing important, just... wondering about things."

Alec blinked confused then. "What do you mean?"

"Do you ever wonder about people you've met in the past? Are you ever curious about how they are doing?"

Alec's forehead creased. "I suppose."

Magnus made a face as if to say "that's all it is." Alec accepted that he wasn't going to get much more from his mysterious boyfriend, and let it go. He couldn't say it didn't frustrate him a little bit, but his frustrations were forgotten when the ringing of his phone echoed throughout the apartment. 

Magnus groaned, letting Alec out of his embrace, turning on his back. Alec reached over for his phone. "Hello?" 

Magnus couldn't hear what was going on on the other end of the line, but it must have been loud for Alec winced. "What news?" He asked into the phone.

It was silent for a second, but then Alec's eyes widened, and his grip loosened on the phone. His breath hitched, and Magnus sat up concerned. Alec swallowed. "Are... Are you sure?"

Magnus massaged Alec's shoulders, because how tense they had become made him uncomfortable. What was happening?

Alec nodded, but he looked very nervous. "Okay... okay, um, I'll ask but I don't feel comfortable involving him in the mission." Magnus knew he was talking about him, but didn't interrupt the conversation. "Isabelle, I know this could be it, but this is Magnus. We can't just risk his life without thinking about it." Magnus kissed his shoulder then. Alec reached down with his free hand to caress his cheek. "I know he's the High Warlock but-"

Magnus was going to accompany Alec on whatever mission this was anyway, whether Alec liked it or not. Isabelle sounded as if they would need the help, and well... Magnus was pretty good help. 

"Alec," Magnus finally whispered, and Alec turned to look at him. "I'll be fine."

Alec was hesitant, looking at Magnus like he was the only thing he had left, and he was afraid to lose him. But he clenched his jaw, nodding. "Okay, let us get ready and we'll be there in fifteen minutes."

Alec hung up the phone, bringing Magnus into a tight hug. Magnus was caught off guard for a second, but wrapped his arms around Alec's middle. "Promise me," Alec whispered. "Promise me you'll be okay."

Magnus knew it was something he couldn't promise, because he might not be okay. But he wasn't going to deny Alec the request when he sounded like that. "I promise," he said. 

Alec let him go then, standing up, heading for his shirt. Magnus just watched him. "We've got a lead on Jace." 

Magnus smiled. "That's fantastic," he said.

Alec looked wary. "Yeah," he choked out.

Magnus furrowed his brow. "Alec, this is great news. Why do you sound so upset about it?" 

Alec just shrugged. "I have a bad feeling," he whispered. 

Magnus crawled over to him, standing up off the bed. He cupped Alec's face in his hands, because he knew the meaning behind Alec's words. "You're nervous about me coming." It wasn't a question. Alec's silence was answer enough. "Alec, darling, I have been through some of the worst wars and most awful stages in human history. I can handle a few Circle members."

Alec rolled his eyes, but chuckled nonetheless. They exchanged smiles for a second, but then Alec licked his lips, features turning back to grave. "But, Magnus, it's not just a few Circle members. It's a loading shipment dock full of them."

Magnus frowned. "What?"

"They have reason to believe that Jace is being held by Valentine by the loading dock at the coast. There is a ship ready to leave, and if we don't get there before the ship leaves, there won't be another chance to get Jace back for a long time." 

Magnus could hear the pain in Alec's voice as he spoke about his Parabatai. Magnus didn't know what it was like to be physically bonded with someone, but he knew the close relationships you form with others. Ragnor, and Catarina. 

His heart sunk at the thought of Ragnor, and pushed him out of his thoughts. 

"Alexander," he soothed, bringing his hands on Alec's torso and running them all over for comfort. "I will be okay, I promise. If I could be of assistance to you, then I will. I have already told you before, I would do anything for you."

Alec smiled. "But you won't risk my life," he finished. 

Magnus' smile reach his eyes. "Correct," he said. He brought Alec into a hug once more. "Come on," he said, letting him go. "Let's get dressed."

...

When they made it to the Institute, Isabelle had ran to Alec and hugged him, telling him that they were finally getting their brother back. Magnus could see in Alec's eyes that Alec wasn't totally for sure of that, but he didn't voice it. Hope was okay to have in situations such as this.

After that moment, Magnus had followed them to the main room where Clary and them went over the plans they had gone over. Clary looked fierce, and Magnus had pride in the girl. He knew where she was coming from. If it were Alec, he would be just like her, reckless, but passionate in getting the one you love back. 

He sympathized with everyone, really, not just Clary. But he also knew they couldn't just go in there, seraph blades blazing. That's why they were going over plans. Alec and Magnus were to take the back of the dock, and Clary and Isabelle were to take the front.

"Wait," Magnus interrupted. "Why are we the only ones going in there?"

Clary furrowed her brow. "What do you mean?"

Magnus sighed, slightly annoyed. "I mean, why isn't the Clave doing anything more to help?"

Isabelle shifted uncomfortably. "They don't think it necessary."

"What?" Alec exclaimed. Magnus put a hand on his shoulder to calm him. "They don't think it necessary? Are..." he was struggling for words. "Are you shitting me right now?" 

"Alec," Magnus tried, but it didn't work.

"After all of this crap about finding him and putting him on trial for treason, they give up?" He was so furious. "Which he shouldn't be put on trial, he was forced to go."

"We know that, Alexander," Magnus soothed. "We can't have clouded minds going in there. We need to stay calm."

"But we don't stand a chance."

"That's why we're doing this silently," Isabelle said. 

"Exactly," Clary agreed. "We're not going to go in there all crazy and loud and demanding for Jace back."

Alec sighed, shifting on his feet. "Okay, okay... just... if anyone gets hurt, Magnus portals out if there immediately. Am I understood?" 

Magnus smiled at how much of a leader Alec was. He was making a sacrifice. He would leave Jace there and ruin a big chance to get him back, and probably the last if that ship leaves, to get a wounded back to the Institute. 

"I will portal everyone out of there if something goes drastically wrong."

Alec nodded. "Thank you," he said. It was silent for moment, and Magnus through the issue was settled, but then Alec's eyes widened as if realizing something. "Wait, what if you get hurt, though? What if you can't make a portal?" 

"Alexander," Magnus said, trying to get Alec to understood. 

"No, okay, this is ridiculous. We can't do this."

"Alec, this is our last shot," Clary said. "And I'm going with or without you."

"Me too," Isabelle said. 

Magnus looked at them, because damn, they are so loyal and so determined. He wondered if they would do that for him, though probably not. 

"Alec, I'll be fine. I'll have my phone on me, if anything goes wrong, call Catarina. You know my passcode."

Alec didn't look convinced, but knew this was their last shot too. "Okay, then let's go, dammit."

They all took deep breaths, getting their weapons ready. 

...

Though Magnus said he would be alright, he couldn't help but hear his heart pound in his ears as he and Alec made their way to the back of the dock. There were Circle members standing guard at some of the entrances of the small warehouse near the back. "Jace and Valentine have to be in there," Magnus whispered. 

"Most definitely," Alec agreed. "We have to get in there quietly, but how with all the members standing guard?"

Magnus chuckled. "Have a little faith, darling." He took a deep breath, and spoke in a language that Alec didn't know. The Circle members standing guard fell unconscious. "See," he said, looking at Alec's amazed face. 

Alec nodded. "I'm impressed, Magnus." 

Magnus smiled. "Come on," he said, and they made their way to the entrance. 

This was supposed to be quiet, it was supposed to be easy. Well, not easy, but less hard than if there were a million Circle members fighting against them. But when Isabelle's terror filled scream called out Alec's name, Magnus and Alec exchanged glances, and ran back to the front of the dock. 

...

Isabelle and Clary were fighting, and they were confused. This was supposed to be a silent rescue mission, but is almost as if they knew they were coming. 

Clary sliced her blade at Circle member after Circle member. Blood was staining her clothes and it was all over her skin.

Isabelle was in the same state. Her breathing was haggard, and she was tiring. They wouldn't stop coming. 

This was a trap.

"Alec!" 

...

Magnus and Alec ran faster probably than they ever have in their entire life, and that's a lot to say for Magnus. His life has been long. He could feel Alec's panic radiating off of him, and wished he could do something for him. But there was nothing. All he could do was run faster. His breath was coming out in gasps and his heart was pounding so loud in his ear he thought he'd go deaf.

He didn't know what he would do if Isabelle or Clary died or got fatally injured. He wasn't necessarily family to them or anything, and certainly not as close as Alec, but he was close to them. They were his friends, and he didn't want to lose him because quiet frankly, he's so damn tired of losing people in this forsaken war. 

He couldn't even imagine the pain his Alexander would endure. He would blame himself, surely. He would always have the guilt eating away at his heart, the questions of "why couldn't I have done something different" weighing heavy in his head. He would wonder why it had to happen to them and not him. He would ask everyday for the rest of his life, why he allowed that to happen.

It was guilt.

And Magnus knew guilt well. He hated it more than anything; more than any feeling he's ever endured before. But, as he has always said, you endure what is unbearable, and you bear it. That is all. 

The sounds of fighting grew louder and they rounded a stack of loading compartments, and he could see Isabelle and Clary struggling exponentially against Circle members. 

The tingle of magic under his skin reacted immediately, angrily. He yelled as his powers flew at the Circle members, knocking some down, but there were so many. He didn't know how there were so many. He didn't have any weapons, and even with his magic, he wouldn't last that long. 

A Circle member was on him in a second, and he didn't have time to look at Alexander to see if he was alright. He was definitely caught up in the battle, because Magnus was getting no help. 

The Circle member managed to knee him in the stomach, and Magnus coughed, leaning over, hugging myself. He was hit in the back then, knocked to his front. He spun around on his back quickly, knowing if he didn't, he would be impaled by a seraph blade. 

And he was right.

The blade was coming down on him fast, but his magic reacted faster. The handle of the blade singed, glowing the color of fire. He'd made it hot; like lava. 

The Circle member screamed, letting the blade drop to the ground. Magnus' hand outstretched in front of him, blue flames licking around his fingers, and the man went flying back. 

He thought he had a moment to gain his bearings, but in less than a second, another one was pulling him up from the ground, twisting his arm painfully behind him. He fought against him, because he couldn't understand what was happening. The man had no weapon, but had something what felt like a bracelet in his hand. 

He felt it clasp on to his left wrist.

Almost immediately, the magic around his hands were repressed inside him, and he screamed, falling down to his knees. He couldn't hear anything anymore. There was no metal clashing against metal of the seraph blades. There was no panting, or grunting, or screaming. There was just rushing of blood in his ears, and he felt his magic fighting whatever barrier there was, but it was losing.

Whatever the bracelet was, it was blocking his magic.

Which wasn't good. 

Not good at all.

He was already extremely vulnerable with his magic, but now with no magic and no weapons, he was most definitely going to die. 

But he couldn't think, he couldn't comprehend anything. All he knew was pain. The glamour around his eyes were flickering, fighting to stay in place, but before he knew it, it was down, and his mark was shown for all to see. 

He hated that.

He hated this whole situation. 

"Magnus!" 

His senses were coming back to him, and the pain was dying down to a dull thud in his veins. He heard his name being called, and he knew it was the deep, baritone voice of his Alexander. 

"Alexa..." he tried, but his tongue wasn't working. 

He realized the he was back on his feet, but only because he was being held up by a Circle member with a blade to his neck. 

"Stay back," the Circle member barked, twisting Magnus' arm at an angle, and he grunted. "Stay back, or he dies." 

He couldn't really see, his vision was blurry, but he could clearly see Circle members littered across the floor, and Alec, Clary, and Isabelle take steps back from the pair. He wished they didn't. 

He wished they would kill this disgusting man and take this damn bracelet off. 

"Let him go," he faintly heard Clary say.

He heard the Circle member laugh. "Oh, no. It's not that easy, my friend." We are not your friends, Magnus thought. He felt the blade press harder to his neck. "I have a Downworlder in my hands. Not just that, I have a Downworlder's life in my hands. I plan to have some fun with that." 

He felt his knees buckle then, he was so tired. His eyes were drooping, but the man pulled him back up. He took a sharp breath. 

"What do you mean?" Alec asked.

He could practically hear the smile in the member's voice. "I mean I plan to play with him a bit."

Magnus wanted to laugh. 

It took him a moment to realize he did. 

"You won't be laughing for long, there, demon."

"Don't call him that," Isabelle demanded. 

"Why?" The man asked. "He is what he is."

"He's nothing of his demon heritage," Alec fought back. "You're more of a demon than he is." Magnus could tell he was talking through grit teeth. 

"Oh, no. I'm wounded." The man sounded sarcastic, but then he laughed, and he felt the blade leave his neck, but it took a new appointed position at his chest. The point of the blade was pressed just slightly to the right of where his heart was. 

He was going to kill him. He was going to die. He didn't want to die, to be completely honest. Where would he go? To his father? No, he didn't want to go there, he didn't. 

It was then realized, that he was afraid. 

He was actually afraid. 

Magnus Bane, the High Warlock of Brooklyn, was afraid. 

"Don't," he heard Alec order, but of course, he didn't listen.

Before he knew it, the handle of the blade was sticking out of his chest, and he couldn't breathe, and his eyes had widened. His knees buckled, and the Circle member let him fall to the floor. Someone was yelling his name, but he forgot what was happening. All he knew was there was a hole in him, and there was blood flowing from it profusely. Blood was filling in his lungs, and he felt some bubble up in his throat. 

Where was Alec? Why wasn't Alec at his side yet? Where was Isabelle? Or Clary?

Oh... 

The Circle member was still near him, kneeling on his knees to press his hand against Magnus' chest, and he made choked sounds as more blood bubbled out of his mouth.

There was pain, and there was a lot. He clenched his teeth shut, clawing at the concrete beneath him. 

He wanted to scream, but nothing was working. All he knew was pain, pain, pain...

"Al..." he tried. 

The Circle member leaned down into his ear, and he whispered. "Let you remember this pain. Let you know this is the last thing you feel before your heart finally stops." 

And he ran away. 

He closed his eyes, because he was so exhausted. But he felt a hand tapping his cheek lightly, and he opened them to see Alexander hovering over him, his eyes wide and panicked. 

Magnus was trying to breathe, but nothing was coming in or going out, and he was suddenly reminded of water rushing in his lungs, and hands holding him under the river water. He remembered his stepfather's harsh words. 

But he didn't want to think about that, not now, not in his last moments. 

He just wanted to think of Alec. 

"Alec..." he gasped out. 

Alec looked on the verge of tears. "Magnus, look at me. You're going to be fine, okay? I need you to stay with me." 

Someone was reaching in his pocket, but he didn't know why. He didn't remember what he'd told Alec, but he knew it had to do with his pocket. Maybe a phone.

Where was he? 

Right... he'd just been stabbed.

He was trembling violently.

"Alec..." he said again. He wanted to say it over and over, because he wanted it to be the last name that graced his lips as he died. "Alec..."

"Shh, you're going to be fine, just breathe with me. In and out." 

Alec was trying so hard, but Magnus knew he wouldn't make it out of this. There was blood flowing from his wound like a waterfall, pooling around him and Alec. His head was in Alec's lap, so at least his hair was saved. 

He tried to obey Alec's command to breathe, but it wasn't working. It just wasn't. More blood bubbled up, and turned on his side, spitting it up. Alec was rubbing circles on his back, but he turned back over to face Alec, and he whimpered. 

God, it hurt. Please... make it stop...

He didn't voice it out loud, though maybe he did. He didn't know. 

"You're going to be okay. Focus on my voice, okay? I need you to stay awake, you have to stay awake. Can you do that for me?" His voice was rushed, and panicked, but held his authoritative leader tone too. 

He nodded for him; a slight move of the head, but pain rushed through his body as he moved. 

He choked again, coughing, blood spluttering out as he did. He coughed again, and he was suddenly overcome with coughs, and blood was coming up his throat like bile, and it was flowing from him with every exhale. 

Alec was shushing him gently, and he saw a swirl of light appear at his side. He didn't move to look to know it was a portal. But he did see from the corner of his eye his very blue friend, Catarina Loss, emerge out and fall to her knees next to him immediately. 

Oh, that's what he told Alexander about his pocket. His phone was in his pocket, and if anything were to go wrong, call Catarina.

She was talking, but Magnus couldn't comprehend what she was saying. He was losing consciousness, and fast. There were stars in the corners of his eyes, but Alexander wouldn't let him go that easily.

"Hey, come on," Alec said, tapping his cheek again. Magnus whimpered again. "Shh, I know. I know it hurts, but you've got to fight it. I know you can do it. Just focus on my voice."

Magnus tried to breathe again, but regretted it when he was racked with coughs again. 

There was more blood, and it was hot in his mouth. 

There were glowing hands running all over him, but he wasn't feeling any better, and it was still hurting.

He wanted it to stop. 

He cried out, feeling his chest constrict against his injured lungs. 

More blood.

"Isabelle, press down on the wound," someone ordered, and it sounded like Catarina, but he couldn't be sure. 

He was going to try to figure it out, because maybe it would keep him awake, but there was a sudden, sharp pain on his chest, and there was blood being forced up his throat. He choked, and it dribbled down his chin. He cried out again, trying to pry the hands away. 

He was clawing at the hands, but then there were other hands holding his down, and he squirmed, because it hurt. He was hurting, and he needed it to stop. 

He couldn't breathe. He couldn't even get an ounce of breath in him. 

He gasped blood. "I can't..." he tried, but got nothing out. Without breath, there was no voice. "Please..." he sputtered.

"Shh," someone shushed him. 

His vision was blurring again, and his squirming was calming down, but the pain didn't waver.

His breath was still struggling, but he was growing limp, and there were voices, but he couldn't figure out what they were saying. He couldn't figure anything out anymore, all he knew was darkness emerging at the edges of his eyes and the voices got louder, but then he heard nothing and saw nothing.

Nothing but silence.

And nothing but darkness.

...

"No, Magnus, come on. Wake up. I know you can do it, wake up." Alec was pleading, he knew he was, but didn't care. He didn't care if he looked weak, all he could care about was the hilt of the blade still sticking up out of Magnus' chest, and blood pooling around them. 

Clary was standing above them, hovering. There were tears in her eyes, and Magnus' phone was still in her hands from when he ordered her to call Catarina. Isabelle was pushing down on the wound, avoiding moving the blade. Catarina was focusing on her magic, eyes closed in concentration as her glowing hands glided above Magnus' bloody body. 

Alec was terrified. He knew Magnus shouldn't have come. He should have never allowed him to convince him to come with them. He should have never allowed the damn mission. 

What he didn't understand most was how did they know they were coming? It was like the Circle members knew they were coming and were prepared. There weren't any more for now, but that could change very soon.

He put him hand on Catarina's. "We need to get him to the Institute, it's not safe here."

"But Jace," Clary tried. 

Alec whirled around on her, sneering. "I understand that, Clary, but Magnus is dying. And I am not going to stand idly by and wait for Jace to walk out of that damn warehouse while Magnus lays here, bleeding out!" 

Clary looked down at Magnus, eyes full of worry, concern, fear. The feeling was mutual. She looked back up at him. "Okay, okay, you're right. We need to get out of here."

"Guys," Isabelle said, voice shaking. "He's barely breathing."

Alec looked around, making sure it was safe to advance out. "Isabelle, this is going to be hard, but we're going to make it work."

"What do I need to do?" She asked, but her eyes did not waver from Magnus' pale face. His lips were turning blue. 

"I'm going to carry him, but you have to keep pressing down on the wound, and make sure that blade doesn't move. It's going to be an awkward position, but just long enough for Catarina to form a portal for us."

"Of course," Catarina said.

Isabelle nodded, and Alec kneeled back down, feeling tears weighing in his eyes as he looked at Magnus. He looked like death.

He gently put his arm under his knees and his other under his chest. He was in position to pick him up, but he needed to make sure Isabelle on the other side of Magnus was. He glanced at her, silently asking permission. She nodded, and he nodded back. Alec lifted Magnus from the ground, blood literally dripping down on to the floor from where they now stand. Isabelle was still pressing down on the wound, her hands caked with Magnus' blood. 

Catarina said a few words in a different language, and a swirl of magic appeared. The portal. 

"Okay," Isabelle said. "We need to hurry."

Alec looked down at Magnus again, who didn't look alive at all. But if it weren't for Magnus' wet, labored breathing, he would guess him dead. Blood continued to come up Magnus' throat, that much was clear. 

Alec nodded, and advanced into the portal.

...

The portal closed behind them, and Alec was rushing to the infirmary, ignoring the looks they all got from other Shadowhunters. All he could focus on was Magnus, not dying. He couldn't die. This thing between them, it was just getting comfortable, and easier. He was starting to understand the charismatic Warlock more than before. 

He didn't want to lose what they had. He didn't want to lose this love.

Yes, love. 

He loved him. 

And, unfortunately, he didn't realize that until the blade went into Magnus' chest. He didn't realize that until Magnus' eyes widened, and he fell to the floor. He didn't realize that until he saw blood, and blood, and more blood. He didn't realize that until he saw the fear in Magnus' eyes, the confusion. He didn't realize that until this whole situation started. 

And what was worse was he might not even get to tell the Warlock just how much he loved him. He loved how Magnus' magic was blue and energetic, even when he was tired. He loved how Magnus' date nights were always perfect. He loved how Magnus' eyebrows would raise when he was being cryptic. He loved the way his voice sounded, even when it was deep with sadness and failure. He loved how Magnus is a good person; even after all of the horrid things the Warlock has been through, he's still a good person.

He couldn't die. He couldn't lose him. 

Isabelle was still walking along with Alec, pressing on the wound. 

They burst through the infirmary doors, and the nurse Shadowhunters looked up from their work, stunned. 

"We need an oxygen mask, now. He's not breathing," Alec ordered. Even though he didn't have any authority here, the nurses followed the order quickly. 

It wasn't often that Shadowhunters needed mundane uses of medical treatment, but it wasn't uncommon. So they always had the equipment on standby for the situations when they did need it. And unfortunately enough, that moment was now.

Alec and Izzy gently laid Magnus on to the bed raised high for the nurses to see what they were working with. 

One managed to get the oxygen working and put the mask on Magnus. After many seconds with no breathing, Alec finally saw the Warlock's chest moving up and down, but barely. They could hear the blood moving around in his throat as he breathed.

"There's blood filling his lungs," one nurse said. She was pale, though either because that was her skin tone, or because she didn't know what to do with the situation. "And if we remove that blade, it might do more damage coming out than it did going in."

Alec blanched. "We can't just leave it in there. He can't walk around the rest of his life with a blade sticking out of his chest!"

"We know that, Lightwood," another nurse said. It was a male this time. "But we're not gonna risk his life more than it already is."

"Well we can't just stand here talking!" Isabelle yelled. She turned to the blue Warlock. "Your magic, what can we do with it."

Catarina looked uncomfortable, and she glanced around the room, looking at the expectant faces. "I am able to do some work on the damage done, but my magic has little to no effect on him," she gestured to his wrist. "That bracelet is what's blocking it, we need to remove that more than anything right now."

They all looked down at the bracelet, and Alec lifted the wrist into his hand. He kissed it, then looked at the damned thing blocking Magnus' and Catarina's magic. "What can we do to remove it?"

Catarina shifted on her feet. She was hesitant in saying, "I don't know."

"Well then what the hell are we supposed to do?" Alec yelled. "I mean, seriously, what the hell can we do?"

"We need to stop the bleeding," the girl nurse said. Alec wished he knew her name, but he didn't. He didn't know the male's name either. 

"I've been pressing down for over ten minutes now," Isabelle said. "It's not even slowed."

The nurse went to get towels and rags to press down with. She handed them to Isabelle, and then the male nurse joined her side, and they were pressing down together. "That should slow in the next five minutes." 

Isabelle nodded, looking down at Magnus. Alec noticed she didn't seem to waver from him at all. He wanted to hug her, but he didn't know what to do at all right now. "What now?" He asked. 

"We have to remove that blade," she said. 

"You just said that was dangerous," Alec exclaimed. 

She nodded. "Yes, but considering he'll die if we don't, we don't have a choice. Siril, come here," she barked, and a male doctor walked in. "We need to remove the blade, but as gently as possible." She turned to Isabelle. "How's the bleeding?" 

"It's slowed," Isabelle replied.

The nurse nodded. "Okay, here's what we're going to do. That blade is wider down by the hilt, right?"

"Right," Alec nodded. 

"This is going to take a while, but it should work."

Alec blinked, shaking his head. "What are you going to do?"

"We're going to slowly slide the blade out, and with ever slack we get from blade to skin, we're gonna stitch him up."

Alec furrowed his brows. "What about cleaning the wound?"

"Once we know that he is alive and he will stay that way, we will wait a couple minutes for things to calm, and we will break the stitches and clean the wound, then patch him up again," her voice was quick. As if saying "get out so I can work".

But Alec wasn't done yet. "What about the blood filling his lungs?"

The nurse shook her head, annoyed. "That we will do with medical treatment that I don't even know how to describe to you in a way you would understand," she said. "Now, please, everyone but Isabelle and Catarina need to leave the room."

Alec shook his head, laughing a humorless laugh. "Like hell I will."

"Alec," someone said, and it wasn't the nurses. Alec looked up to see Isabelle looking him in the eye, and it was the first time Alec saw her look away from Magnus. "Alec, everything is going to be fine," she said gently. "But you have to let them work."

Alec thought about Magnus, and his life, and how much Alec wanted it to stay intact. He thought about how he didn't want to stop waking up to him every morning, and he didn't want to stop talking, and hugging, and kissing him. This was the man who had taken Alec's virginity for Angel's sake. 

He didn't want to lose him. 

Then you have to let them work, his mind told him.

Alec nodded, though it was very reluctant. He leaned down and kissed Magnus on the forehead. "You promised me, Magnus." He was whispering, only enough for Magnus to hear, and he wasn't even sure he could hear him. "You promised me you would be okay. Please, Magnus, please don't break that promise."

He leaned back up, slowly, then looked up at Isabelle. He could see in her face that she heard him. The male nurse next to her pressing down seemed sympathetic. 

He took a deep breath, looking at Catarina then. "Save him, please..."

Catarina didn't know what to say. She hasn't really said anything for the past ten minutes now. 

He took a deep breath, then left the room, Clary following after him.

...

Alec and Clary had been standing out in the hall for what seemed like hours now. Maybe it was hours, he wasn't sure. All he could think about was the blood, and Magnus' crying out, and how Magnus' nails had looked ruined from clawing at the ground. 

He should know the time, and he should know how long it was taking, but he didn't. Maybe he should ask. "How long have we been out here?"

Clary looked up from her sketch book, her pencil stopping whatever it was it was drawing. She reached into her pocket for her phone. "It's been two hours now," she said. "What is taking so long?" 

Alec didn't reply.

He didn't reply, not because he didn't want to talk, or because he disliked Clary enough to ignore her. He didn't reply because he didn't know, and thinking about it make him sick. 

Clary seemed to notice this, and stood up from where she was sitting, setting her sketch book on the ground. She walked up to Alec, and Alec looked down at her. She had pity, fear, sympathy, shining in her eyes. She put a hand on his chest, then it glides up to his shoulder. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm so sorry."

Alec furrowed his brows. "Why?"

"This is my fault. I was so obsessed with finding Jace that I allowed us to act recklessly-"

"No," Alec barked. "I allowed us, I did. I allowed us to go in there, and I allowed us to separate, and I allowed Magnus to get hurt like that." He sighed, shaking his head. "I should have done something different. I should have used my bow or something, but I... I just... I froze. I saw Magnus with a blade to his neck, and I froze."

Clary shook her head then. "But that's okay," she said. "Anyone would have frozen."

"But not me, Clary, I am not allowed to freeze. Leaders can't freeze. The ones following him or her are allowed to freeze, but the leader is not."

Clary frowned. "Why?"

"Because if the leader freezes, then everyone freezes. If the leader believes there is no way out, then everyone gives up. The leader has to be strong for the followers. And I froze, and then you guys froze, and now Magnus is lying in there, dying, and there's not a damn thing I can do about it." He sounded angry, but not at Clary. He was angry with himself. 

Clary just looked at him confused.

"I don't expect you to understand what's it like to be a leader, and I don't mean that in any harsh way. I say it out of kindness. Because I don't expect anyone who isn't a leader to understand, because it's hard to comprehend," he said. "It's hard, Clary. Being a leader is hard. And I hate it, but I know that I have to keep going. Because if I don't, then my followers just see it as a way to get out. As a way to give up, and I will never allow that." 

He sounded so tired, because he was. He was so damn tired. Clary must have noticed.

"Go get some rest, Alec, I can come get you when I get some news."

Alec was shaking his head. "No, I'm not going anywhere." 

Clary knew it ended there. 

As if on cue, Catarina came out of the infirmary, hands caked in blood. She looked tired. Alec pushed Clary out of the way, but not unkindly. It was gentle. He didn't say anything, he just waited for Catarina to say something. 

"He's alive," she said. 

Alive... he's alive... but he wasn't okay.

"But?" Alec asked.

"He's unconscious, and there's still fluid in his lungs but it's not blood. They've managed to flush that out. He's struggling to breathe, and my magic still can't pass through him with the bracelet. Out next task is to get it off, but with or without it, he will fine."

Alec knew those were all awful things, but he couldn't stop the smile forming on his face.

He is going to be fine. 

He released a breath he didn't know he was holding.

Clary hugged him, and he couldn't help but hug back. He had a new found respect for the red head. 

"You can see him, if you like." Catarina said. 

Alec nodded, and advanced inside. Clary wasn't next to him anymore. He looked back, confused. "Clary?" 

She smiled. "You go," she said. "It's fine, you need to see him more than I."

Alec nodded, turning back to head inside.

He thought he would puke when he saw Magnus. He was still as pale as death, and his lips were nearly blue. Not as blue as before, but blue. The oxygen mask was working for him, and his chest was moving up and down at a constant rhythm, though it was still labored a little. 

There was no blade sticking out of him anymore, but instead lay on a table next to him, bloody. He was wearing pants, which were still soaked in blood, but they had removed the shirt, and there was gauze wrapped around Magnus' chest. He was propped up in the bed, to help with breathing.

He looked peaceful enough. Alec pulled up a chair and sat down next to him, grabbing his cold hand. "Hi," he said, though he knew Magnus wouldn't reply. "You promised, remember? So don't pull a fast one and die on me, now, you hear?" 

Alec chuckled, but there tears coming down his face. "I'm so glad you're alive, Magnus. I can't even describe to you how sorry I am... I should have never... I should have never allowed that mission..." 

He swallowed, taking a deep breath to regain his composure. 

"I should have done something different, but I didn't know what to do, and I'm so so sorry, Magnus, please..." his voice cracked, and he knew he was losing it. "I didn't get to tell you how much I love you. I didn't get to tell you how much I love your voice, and your love, and your selflessness. I didn't get to learn more about you, and you didn't get to learn more about me, and I'm just so glad that you're going to get that chance. 

"I love you, Magnus... I do... I didn't realize until... until you were on the floor, dying, and I am so sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." he was repeating it, and he leaned down to rest his head on Magnus. 

He was crying, he knew he was, but they were alone, and Magnus had seen Alec cry before, so he didn't see this as an issue. 

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."

"I love you, I love you, I love you..."

"Please don't leave me, please don't leave me, please don't leave me..."

He would just think of something so true to him, and he would repeat it over and over. 

Catarina said he would be fine, but he was still so terrified he would lose his Warlock.

Just then, though, Alec felt a brush against his hand holding Magnus', and he leaned up, looking at the hand. 

Magnus' thumb was twitching.

He gasped, looking up at Magnus, but his eyes were still closed. 

But then...

"I l...ve you... too..."

Alec laughed, tears streaming harder. "Magnus," he said. "Magnus, Magnus, Magnus..."

He saw Magnus' eyes fluttering, and finally they were open, and his cat eyes were shining. He slowly moved his head to look at Alec. "Ale..."

"Shh," Alec said, smiling. "You're okay, you're okay. I'm here." 

"Ale... ander..." his voice was muffled by the mask. 

"I'm here," Alec said, kissing Magnus on the cheek. "I love you, I love you, I love you."

Magnus took a shaky, deep breath, then let it go. Alec was relieved when he wasn't wrecked with coughs. "I lo... love you... too..."

Alec smiled wider, and hugged Magnus. Magnus grunted, and Alec leaned away quickly. "Sorry," he said.

But Magnus just blinked slowly. "No..." he said. "It's worth it..."

Alec smiled again, and leaned down on Magnus again. Magnus took his hand and ran it through Alec's hair. 

And they stayed like that, not worrying about anything. Not worrying about death, or the lung fluid, or the bracelet. They just enjoyed this moment that they were having, and Alec was glad to have it. 

He was sure Magnus felt the same. 

They knew they would figure this out. They knew the fluid would flush out, and they knew the wound would heal, and they knew they would get the bracelet off. 

And what they knew most of all:

The Promise was not broken.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story will officially have three parts, a lot of the viewers were asking for more! So! Here is chapter 2, chapter 3 will be up soon!
> 
> Also check out my AU story, too! I've just updated it today, so it's getting juicy!

It had been a week since the whole ordeal at the docks happened, and it's been two days since Magnus had been awake. It was nerve wracking. Why won't he wake up? He woke up literally five minutes after they'd sealed up the wound, so why suddenly go back to sleep?

Catarina and the nurses say it's because he's making up for lost sleep. His body is trying to replenish itself after all the blood he lost. And his body was exhausted. He almost died, and he was fighting very hard, Alec could see that clearly the day it happened. 

He wanted to ask why... which sounds awful, because who wouldn't want to fight when dying? He just meant, what made him fight for life? After living for so long, you'd think death wouldn't scare someone that old, but Magnus looked afraid. So of course, Alec wanted to know why.

Why was he afraid of dying? Because whatever he was afraid of was what made him fight for his life. 

Magnus' condition had improved a lot in the last couple of days, though, so that was a plus. He still had lots of fluid in his lungs, and his wound still bothered him, you could see it on his sleeping face, but he wasn't at death's door anymore. 

He still needed the oxygen mask, but not all the time. They would only apply it back to his face when he was struggling to breathe. It only happened maybe twice a day, but still. It worried Alec. 

Alec knew he wasn't the only one that suffered that day, obviously. When it came to Magnus, of course Magnus suffered. He meant, he wasn't the only one who had suffered with Magnus that day.

He could still remember Isabelle's face, and her never wavering eyes from Magnus. He'd wanted to talk to her about it, but he just didn't know what to say, and with helping with Magnus recover, he really hadn't had the chance to. 

Clary also was affected, but he had already spoken to her before Magnus woke up the first time. He was sure she still felt guilty, because who wouldn't when you see that much blood? 

He was sure they all felt guilty.

Alec certainly did.

Alec was in the infirmary now, just sitting and watching Magnus sleep, watching his chest move up and down, watching his eye twitch when you could tell he felt uncomfortable with the wound. He didn't have the oxygen mask on now, and he actually hadn't gotten it all day, so maybe he was finally out of the woods. 

He had Magnus' hand in his own, hoping for some sign that he was waking up, like a moving finger, or his wrist twitching, but he was completely still. 

And cold... 

He was still cold.

He did lose a lot of blood, so maybe that was why, but he didn't know squat about medical care or anything, so he couldn't be sure. 

He sighed, taking a deep breath and letting it go. He decided to talk to Magnus some more.

He'd been talking to him, even if he wasn't sure he could actually hear him or not. 

"You've been doing so well, Magnus. You're improving a lot, and I can't even tell you how happy that makes me." He took another deep breath. "I love you, Magnus. I'm never going to stop saying that, and I wish you would wake up so I can know you hear it."

No response. Nothing. Not even a twitch.

"Of course," Alec began again. "I understand why you're not awake. You're absolutely exhausted, and healing you is hard with that damned bracelet on."

They still hadn't found a way to get rid of the bracelet, but Catarina had been searching about it for a long time. Her only theory is the one who put it on is the only one who can get it off. It has sensors on it, and Catarina says it's because it only reacts to the skin of whoever put it on. 

Which means they would have to go searching for the Circle member who had applied it to his wrist. But Alec was worried A) they would never find him. And B) he would kill him before he got the chance to get the bracelet off. Which would be a disaster.

"But, we're going to figure it out, Magnus. I promise. You're going to be fine, and you're going to have access to your magic very soon."

He knew he probably shouldn't promise that, because like he'd learned last week, promises like that can't be guaranteed. But he did it anyways, because why the hell not? 

"You want to hear something funny?" He asked, knowing he wouldn't get a reply. "My mom actually hasn't tried to kick you out yet, and I doubt she will try." He was smiling. "It's funny to me, but I don't know if it's funny to you. Probably not," he stopped smiling. "Prejudices against you are not funny, I don't know why I thought that would be funny, sorry..."

He felt awkward all of a sudden. He was just nervous, so very nervous for this man who won't wake up. 

"Please wake up," Alec said. "Please, I need to know you're okay..."

"He is," someone said, and Alec whipped around to the door. Catarina was standing in the doorway, looking pretty exhausted. "I promise, Alec, he's fine."

Alec looked back at Magnus, who's chest hitched ever so slightly. "When will he wake up?"

He heard Catarina take steps towards them, and he felt her stop right behind where he was sitting. She put a hand on his shoulder. "When he is ready to."

Alec sighed, putting resting his head on Magnus' side, wanting to feel the easy rise and fall of his chest, but instead, got shaky ones. He came back up, wary. "Magnus?" 

Of course, he knew he wouldn't get a response.

Except he did, but not one he was hoping for. 

Magnus' breath caught in his throat, and he twitched his head to the side, eyes furrowing. "Does he need the oxygen mask?" Alec asked.

He wouldn't have asked if it were obvious, but Magnus never acted like this when he needed assistance in breathing. Usually he just... struggled to breathe, not thrash a little bit on the bed. 

"No," Catarina said. "This is different."

Magnus took more shaky breaths through his teeth, as if in pain. He began moving his legs about, and Alec didn't know what to do. "Do something," he said.

But Catarina did nothing but watch, standing there with concentrated eyes. "I think he's dreaming," she said.

Alec looked up at her. "What?"

"Dreaming," she repeated. "I think he's dreaming."

Alec looked back down at Magnus. "Well, it must not be a very happy dream."

He was right.

Magnus whipped his head back to the other side, and began gripping the bed sheets. Alec just rested a head on his forehead, caressing, brushing through his hair, rubbing a thumb on his brow, anything to give him a sense of comfort. "Shh," he hushed. 

Magnus seemed to relax then, as if replying to Alec by saying "I know you're there, I'm okay now". 

"Why would he be having nightmares?" Alec asked.

Catarina shrugged, as if it wasn't a big deal. Which maybe it wasn't. "His body is exhausted, I'm sure his mind is too."

Alec just looked down at Magnus, concern pushing down on him like weights. "Yeah," he said, though he sounded unsure. "I'm sure that's all it is."

She squeezed his shoulder. "Hey, don't worry. Everything is fine now, Alec, he's just tired. His magic is exhausted because it's trying to fight the block from the bracelet, his mind is tired from fighting to stay alive, and his body is tired from trying to heal the wound. He's just tired, Alec, a nightmare isn't strange to have when someone is that tired."

Alec was nodding, and he was listening to the words, but he was still nervous. He knew she was right. He was just paranoid. He almost lost Magnus. 

Magnus' breath hitched again, and his forehead creased. This was what he was used too. Magnus, struggling to breathe. Not nightmare, not panic. This.

And it wasn't any more comforting than the nightmare was.

Catarina ran to get the oxygen mask, flipping the machine on. She gently pulled his head up while Alec applied the mask to his face. "Just breathe, Magnus, you're okay," Alec spoke to him.

It was silent for a bit, and Alec just continued to stroke Magnus' face with his thumb, gently running it back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth.

Then Catarina spoke. "Why don't you go get some rest. You haven't left this chair for two days, Alec, and your sister is worried about you."

Isabelle...

Alec had been extremely worried for her too. It had been a while since they spoke to each other, and Alec had the strangest feeling it was because of Magnus. 

But Alec didn't want to leave Magnus. What if Magnus woke up, and no one was here? What if people were here, but Magnus didn't want to see them, but he wanted to see Alec? What if something happened and no one was here to take care of him? 

There were so many what ifs running through his mind, that he actually started to feel himself get a head ache. 

Catarina must have noticed his distress and bent down next to Alec, putting her hands on his knees. "Alec, everything is fine. Magnus is fine. You are fine." Alec still didn't look convinced. "Hey," she said gently. "I'll be here to watch him. You need rest, Alec. Everything is fine."

Alec, though very reluctant, nodded and stood up from the chair next to Magnus. He kissed Magnus' forehead. "Wake up soon, Magnus. I love you."

He leaned back up, and gave Catarina a thankful smile, and headed out the room.

He was going to take Catarina's offer up about getting some rest, but he wasn't really tired. 

No, scratch that. He was exhausted. But he knew he wasn't going to get any rest, so he decided to go see Isabelle and see how she was doing. He was getting worried about her.

He knew she was a little shocked about what had happened with Magnus, and he knew she was feeling guilty. But she shouldn't. The only one who should feel guilty was himself. And he hadn't even had a chance to talk to Magnus about that. 

He talked to Clary, but Magnus was the one who needed to hear how sorry he was. How much he knew it was his fault and he would make it up to him.

Magnus would most likely deny that statement, but nothing could convince Alec that this wasn't his fault. Nothing.

When he saw all the blood just flowing out of Magnus' body like a waterfall, and the blood bubbling up in throat, and the choking, and the fear in his eyes, the cries, the screams... 

He closed his eyes, shaking the thoughts away as he walked to Isabelle's room. It was up on the second floor of the Institute, and Alec really didn't want to take the stairs, so he decided to use the elevator. He didn't think he had the strength to actually make it up those stairs anyways. 

He passed some Shadowhunters he knew, but he didn't make any small talk with them. First of all, he didn't quiet care about them. Second of all, none of them probably gave a rip about him either. In fact, most of these people don't like him because of his sexuality, plus the fact that he was dating a Downworlder. The High Warlock of Brooklyn, Magnus Bane. Who apparently had a reputation of just sleeping around with whomever he could find and then never calling them back.

Alec didn't believe that one bit. Everyone had one night stands, but Magnus wasn't a playboy. He wasn't someone who just hit on another person and slept with them for fun. Magnus was a very passionate man. He had discovered that when they had their own first time. 

He was really tired of people, especially his mother, slut shaming Magnus. He wasn't a slut, and he definitely wasn't a whore. He was searching. Searching for the one. And Alec sincerely hoped that he was the one. 

Because he was almost sure that Magnus was the one for him.

He finally made it to Isabelle's room, and he knocked softly on the door. He heard a shuffle, then he heard a click, and the door opened, revealing a very tired looking Isabelle. 

She looked distraught. She was wearing pajama pants and a crop top that showed a little bit of skin. She had socks that were pink and fuzzy on her feet. She was void of make up and her hair was up in a messy bun.

Alec frowned, suddenly concerned. "Isabelle?" 

She just hummed.

"Are you okay?" Alec asked. 

She nodded.

"Can I come in? I want to talk to you," Alec said, and Isabelle nodded again, standing aside to let Alec in. 

When they were both inside, they took a seat on her queen bed. Alec put a hand on Isabelle's. "Are you sure you're okay?" Isabelle didn't say anything. She just swallowed, and Alec could see tears welling in her eyes. She shook her head no then. Alec squeezed her hand. "What's wrong, Iz?"

She took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. "Every time I look or think about Magnus, I feel my heart just... break..."

Alec furrowed his brows. "Izzy, he's okay. He's healed. Well," he changed his wording. "He's on the road to being healed."

She nodded, squeezing her eyes shut. "No, I know that," she said, sounding slightly annoyed. "It's just... it's my fault..."

Alec was denying that immediately. "No, no, Izzy. This whole thing is my fault-"

Isabelle shot up from the bed then, looking furious. "I invited him on the mission, Alec."

"And I allowed him to come," Alec intervened. 

It was silent between the two for a second, then Alec just sighed and tried again, watching Isabelle take a seat back down on to the bed. "Iz, everybody is feeling like it was their fault... I think... I think it's time we all just said it was no ones fault."

"But-" Isabelle tried.

"Wait," Alec said. "Let me finish." Isabelle nodded, gesturing for Alec to continue. "Yes, it is true that you invited Magnus to the mission. And yes, I allowed him to come. But Magnus still could have said no. He still could have not gone. He came on his own free will. Because he cared enough to risk his life for us, and there is nothing wrong with that. 

"So it's not my fault, or your's, or Clary's, and it's not even Magnus'. It's the man who decided to stab him in the chest in the first place. A Circle member. And we need to find him, because the only way for Magnus to access his magic is by getting that bracelet off, but only that man can take it off."

Isabelle's eyes narrowed, shocked. She shifted on the sheets. "What?"

Alec shrugged, but not because he didn't care. "That's what Catarina says. There are sensors on the bracelet that recognizes the skin of the one who applies it onto the warlock. And he's the one who put it on." 

Isabelle looked as if to be contemplating something. Probably how the hell we were supposed to find him. "Well, what can we do?"

Alec shrugged. "We don't have anything to track him with. And we can't go back to the docks until we're for sure we can get him, which we're not. So I just... I don't know."

"We can't just leave the bracelet on."

"I know that, and Magnus isn't even awake yet."

As if on cue, Catarina knocked on the door, entering without a confirmation. They weren't offended. She looked relieved, and Alec hoped it was because Magnus was awake.

"He's awake," she said, and Alec let out an exhale of consolation. Isabelle put a hand on his shoulder, and they glanced at each other.

They knew they were in this together. 

"Go see him," Isabelle said. 

Alec didn't need to be told twice.

...

When Alec entered the room, Magnus was still propped up on the pillows, and the oxygen mask was still there. His chest was moving up and down in as if with no effort, but Alec knew better. There was still lots of fluid in there, and it showed when his breath hitched.

Magnus smiled underneath the mask. "Alexander," he said. He looked tired.

Alec smiled back. He stepped to the chair next to his bed, and took a seat. He grabbed Magnus' hand, squeezing, and feeling a heavy weight in his heart lift when Magnus squeezed back. "Hi," he said.

Magnus blinked slowly, as if trying to stay awake. "Hi," he croaked out. 

Alec shifted on his seat. "How are you feeling?"

Magnus scoffed, but it was wet in his throat. "Like I have an ocean in my chest," he said. Alec chuckled with him. "But better," he finished.

Alec nodded. "That's good, Magnus."

It was silent, and Magnus and Alec just looked at each other, as if entranced by one another. Like they hadn't seen each other for years, and it felt like it, even though it's been only a few days. 

"I miss you," Alec said.

Magnus smiled gently. "And I you," He whispered. Alec could tell he was struggling to stay awake. "I'm so tired..."

Alec put a hand on Magnus' forehead, caressing the skin with his thumb. "Just sleep, Magnus." But Alec didn't want him to sleep. He wanted him to stay awake so that he knew he would be okay, but he understood. 

Magnus didn't appear to want to sleep either. He shook his head weakly. "Don't want to..."

Alec frowned. "Why not?"

Magnus took a deep, shaky breath, and it hitched when he released it. "I just don't want too."

Alec knew there was more to it, but he didn't say anything more on the matter. He just nodded, and squeezed Magnus' hand again. "We have a theory on the bracelet."

"Correct," a voice said; a female voice. Catarina stood in the doorway, and took a step to be next to Magnus in the bed.

Magnus furrowed his brow. "What do you mean?" His voice was very weak.

Catarina gestured to the bracelet. "That thing won't come off. There is nothing we can do to get it off." Magnus blinked, looking hurt. They could see the fear flash through his eyes that he would have to try to get on in life without magic. But Catarina quickly fixed how it came out. "The only one who can take it off is the one who put it on."

Magnus closed his eyes, shoulders relaxing after tensing. He took deep breaths, though they were faulty. "There isn't any way... any way we would find him."

Catarina smirked. "That's what I thought at first too."

Alec looked up at her. "What?"

She smirked wider. "To track someone, you need an object owned by them to do the spell, to locate them. Well, our first dread was that we didn't have an object of his."

Alec narrowed his eyes. "We don't," he shook his head.

Catarina raised her eyebrows in knowing. "That's what you think."

"Cat," Magnus breathed out. "Just tell us and quit showing off."

Catarina titled her head playfully. "Hm, it's not fun when I show off, but it is when you do?" 

Magnus smiled under the mask. "Under normal circumstances I wouldn't complain. But considering I am, indeed, in a lot of pain, I'd like to heal quicker than I am... and to do that, I need my magic."

Catarina's smile fell, and put her hand on Magnus' shoulder. "I know. I'm sorry this happened to you. Your wound is still deep, and there's lots of fluid in your lungs."

Magnus nodded weakly. "I think I noticed."

Catarina chuckled at his sarcasm. "Of course."

"So," Alec brought the topic back to light. "What's this 'object' of his that we have?"

Catarina looked at the bracelet. 

Alec was expecting her to say something, but she didn't. She just continued to look between him and the bracelet around Magnus' pale wrist. 

He straightened his back. "Oh," he said.

"The bracelet," Magnus said, realization clear on his features. 

Catarina nodded. "Exactly." There was confidence in her voice, but there was also apprehension.

Alec suddenly felt concerned. "What's the catch?"

Catarina looked uncomfortable. "It's going to hurt," she said reluctantly.

Alec was already shaking his head, standing up from the chair, pacing. Magnus looked upset to know that he wasn't in contact with Alec's hand anymore. 

"No," Alec said.

Catarina furrowed his brows. "I'm sorry, are you just used to saying that?"

Alec didn't find the joke funny. "Catarina, we're not going to put Magnus in more physical pain than he already is." Catarina shifted again. Alec knew there was more to the catch. "What now?"

"It's not just physical pain..."

"What do you mean?" Magnus asked.

She looked down at him, sorrowful, but also with a look that said 'we don't have a choice.' "It's you who will be seeing where he is, and it'll be hard. That bracelet is made to block a track." She pointed at it. "Your mind will be almost on fire."

Magnus took a slow, deep breath. "I see," he said. 

Alec looked at him, and quickly went back to the chair to hold his hand. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to, Magnus."

Magnus shook his head. "No," he said. "It's fine, I know this needs to be done. I've endured some pretty taxing pains in my life, I can handle an uncomfortable track."

"But, Magnus, this isn't just going to be uncomfortable," Alec said.

"It's going to be excruciating," Catarina finished. "We'll more than likely have to restrain you down."

Magnus breathed again, as if he were preparing himself. He swallowed, reaching up to the oxygen mask and removing it. He took a few breaths to make sure he was fine without it, and tried to push himself up. 

"Whoa," Alec said, pushing him back down. "What are you doing?"

Magnus winced as he was pushed back onto the bed. "Trying to sit up, but your hands are kind of in the way."

"Don't be funny, Magnus." Alec bit out. "Please, not now. I can't..." he stopped, and Magnus frowned. "I can't stand knowing that you're hurting."

Magnus relaxed back down then, grabbing Alec's hand. He locked his gaze with Alec's hazel one. "I'll be fine," he said. "I promise."

Alec scoffed. "Yeah, you said that before the mission too, but look at you." 

Magnus blinked, his mouth forming in a tight line. "I know," he said. "I know. But I'm fine. I know this needs to be done."

"But Magnus-"

"No," Magnus interrupted. "Taking magic away from me is like taking away air." His voice cracked, but whether from pain of his injury or pain of living without magic, Alec wasn't positive. "I need to get it back, I can't stand it."

Catarina shifted on her feet, looking distressed. "Tell me how it feels."

Magnus looked down at his hands after letting go of Alec's. "I can feel it in there. I know it's there, but I can't reach it. It's like it's teasing me. My own magic, one of the only things I can trust, is teasing me."

Catarina looked sad. "We're going to get it back, Magnus, I swear."

Magnus nodded, smiling. "I know." They stayed silent for a while, unsure of what to do. But then Magnus' sleepy voice pulled them out of their reverie. "So, when do we do this?"

Catarina winced. "Right away, if you're up for it."

Magnus took, yet again, another deep breath. He nodded. "Okay," he said. "Okay, lets do it."

Catarina looked at Alec. "Don't let anyone in the room, except for you. This needs to be just with us."

Alec nodded. "Of course." 

"We'll also need something to hold him down." 

Alec looked hesitant, but nodded. "I'll talk to one of the nurses to see if there's any gurneys with straps."

Catarina nodded.

And they got to work.

...

When Alec had gotten a gurney that would hold a person down, he had brought it to the infirmary and set it next to the bed Magnus was on. Catarina took one side of him, and Alec took the other. They had managed to get Magnus to his feet, along with very pained sounds reaching their way up Magnus' throat. 

"You're okay," Alec said. Magnus was gasping, which wasn't good for his lungs. His knees buckled, but Catarina and Alec managed to hold him up. "You're okay," Alec repeated.

They guided him to the gurney, and sat him down. Catarina got his feet up, and Alec held his chest while he gently lowered him on his back. 

Magnus was managing to get his breath back, but now he looked up at the ceiling in trepidation. Alec put the oxygen mask back on, regulating Magnus' breathing. He shifted his head to be more comfortable. 

Catarina took the straps down at his legs and hooked them on the other side, tightening them. She was looking up at Magnus concerned every few seconds, but Magnus didn't falter from the ceiling. She got the straps to his thighs, then his hips, then stomach. 

Alec was standing on his side, caressing his cheek gently. Magnus looked tired, with dark circles under his eyes and messy hair. "You're going to be okay." 

Alec was repeating it like a mantra, and Magnus was hearing it, but not reacting to it. 

Catarina grabbed the strap for his chest, knowing this wouldn't be good for the wound, but also knowing this was all they could do. "This might hurt," she warned. Magnus nodded, finally looking away to look at Catarina before going back to the ceiling. 

He was preparing himself.

Catarina hooked the strap on the other side, and pulled it tight, but not without a grunt coming out of Magnus, and his knuckles going white while his hands were clenched into fists. His jaw was tight, and he was gasping under the mask. 

He was struggling to draw breath. 

"Can't we loosen it, just a little?" Alec asked. 

"It's fine," Magnus choked out. 

"Magnus, no it's not. You can't even breathe, loosen it, Catarina."

Catarina was hesitant, but loosened it ever so slightly, and Magnus relaxed a little bit, but was still having trouble with his breath. 

Magnus closed his eyes against the pain. 

Catarina went towards the bracelet, and put her hand over it. She looked up at Magnus. "Are you ready?" 

Magnus looked at her, barely turning his head.

And nodded.

Catarina nodded back, and Alec was still caressing his cheek, making sure Magnus knew that he was right here, that he didn't have to go at this alone.

She began chanting a few words, not in any language Alec could understand, but enough to know it was obviously the spell to track. Her voice was soft and gentle, but it was hesitant. As if she were waiting for that first sign of pain to come from Magnus. 

She continued to chant for nearly ten minutes before Magnus made a small twitch. Nothing too bad, but he had his eyes closed, and his fingers were repeatedly going from clenched into his fists to spread out across the gurney. 

He twitched again, this time, with a small little grunt coming out of him. "You're okay," Alec was saying. "Just breathe."

Magnus followed the order, but not without difficulty. He was trying to breathe, but even with the oxygen mask, Alec could see he was struggling. Probably because of the strap going across his chest, as well as rubbing on the wound as he twitched. 

He jolted, blinking quickly, as if trying to block something out. He shook his head, and Alec just continued to whisper sweet words into his ear. "Relax, you're okay."

Catarina clenched her eyes shut then, pushing her magic further into Magnus and into the bracelet. "Stop fighting it, Magnus, you'll only make it worse."

Magnus' breath hitched. "Sorry..." he gasped out.

"It's okay," Alec said. "Just relax."

Magnus closed his eyes then, trying to relax his muscles but nothing seemed to be working. He cried out, and Alec winced at the sound. Magnus gripped at the gurney, his knuckles white.

"Magnus, you're still fighting it, you need to let it happen. You can do it, Magnus," Catarina said soothingly. Her voice had a sense of force in it. 

"I'm sorry, this isn't exactly easy," Magnus bit out, annoyed. 

"I know, but you can do it. Think about his face, think about where you were the last time you saw him."

Magnus scoffed, grunting after. "I'd rather not think about blood filling my lungs, thank you very much."

Catarina was sweating, and Magnus was starting too. "Just relax. Don't think about the pain you experienced, just think about him."

Alec saw Magnus close his eyes and try to remember that night, try to remember the sharp cheekbones, and brown hair, and green eyes of that man. 

Magnus flinched, arching his back. He cried out again, and Alec thought maybe Magnus finally made a breakthrough. 

"Alec," Catarina said urgently. 

Alec looked up from Magnus. "What?"

"Go get a bowl of ice water, a fever just spiked."

Alec noticed then, that Magnus' forehead was extremely hot. Dangerously hot. Alec ran to the sink in the infirmary, grabbed the nearest container he could find, and put cold water in it. It wasn't ice water, but where the hell was he supposed to find ice in here? 

He grabbed a rag from one of the cabinets and ran back to Magnus. He applied the cold rag to his forehead, and Magnus was now unconscious, face contorted in pain. He was gasping, and it was wet, and muffled behind the mask. 

He was thrashing a bit, trying to break from the restraints. "Shh," Alec hushed.

"He's getting there, but he needs to push deeper," Catarina commented.

"Just give him his time," Alec said. "He'll get there, he's strong."

Magnus whimpered, and Alec wondered what it was he was seeing. "Magnus, listen to me, I know you can hear me," Alec said. "Remember the man's face. Remember his voice, anything you can remember about him."

Magnus bucked, but the straps kept him down. He was breathing through his teeth. His lips were moving as if trying to say something but all that came out were choked, desperate noises.

"Shh," Alec hushed again. "You can do it, just stay calm." 

Sweat was shining on Magnus' skin, running down into his closed eyes. Alec wiped as much of it as he could away with the wet rag, but it just kept accumulating. 

Finally, Magnus screamed. Alec flinched back, horrified by the noise. He wanted to stop this, he wanted to save Magnus from this, but at the same time he knew it had to be done. 

His back arched from the gurney, but he did not break the restraints. 

"Magnus, stay calm!" Alec yelled over Magnus'. "You'll be fine, just find that Circle member."

Another scream.

It was louder, and they continued to get louder as the track continued. It went on for nearly thirty minutes until Magnus mumbled his first word. 

"Blood..."

Catarina and Alec looked at each other. "Is he remembering getting injured?" Alec asked.

Catarina looked scared, and unsure. She shook her head, mouth trying to form words, but nothing coming out. 

"Blood..."

Alec looked back down at Magnus, who was still thrashing wildly. He couldn't breathe. 

His thrashing was pushing the mask off of his face, and the gasping was causing the fluid to move around. Alec grabbed the mask and held it on Magnus' face. "Magnus, don't think about that, just think about the man."

"Blood..."

"Shh, Magnus, shh..."

"We have to pull him out, he's going to far," Catarina said. 

Alec snapped his head up at her. "What do you mean?"

"He's just thinking about the injury, and I can feel his fear through the magic, he's panicking." She was speaking fast, urgent.

Alec nodded, not having to be told twice. "Pull him out," he said.

Catarina nodded, closing her eyes in concentration. She was mumbling spells, and words he didn't understand. 

He looked down at Magnus, still holding the mask on his face. "Shh, come out, Magnus. You don't have to try anymore, just come out. You can do it."

Magnus' breathing was calming slightly, and his thrashing was ceasing, but he was still unconscious. He was still in.

"Magnus," Catarina exclaimed. "You don't have to try anymore, okay, come out!"

Suddenly, Magnus' body loosened, and fell lump on the gurney. 

The magic stopped. Catarina and Alec stared at each other.

The room was silent. The only thing they could hear was the breathing between the two.

Wait, two?

Alec looked down at Magnus, whose chest wasn't moving up and down.

He wasn't breathing at all.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took so long I just have writers block and I'm still not completely happy with the ending but I can't keep you guys waiting forever. 
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoy all the angst! Because I cried while writing it.

Blood began pouring out of the wound that occupied Magnus' chest due to the struggling against the strap, which still wasn't moving up or down. He had become even paler than he was, and the sweat that covered his tan skin made him shine. 

Alec felt his heart basically stop, because no. No, this wasn't happening again, this couldn't be happening again. If Magnus died, he'd be lost. Lost in this world that no longer had those beautiful cat eyes.

Catarina looked as though she had no idea what to do, and Alec couldn't blame her. But they had to do something, they couldn't just stand here and watch Magnus die away. 

But Alec knew they had to be calm about this. He couldn't get mad like he'd done when Magnus first got injured. It helped no one. Not even himself.

He took a deep breath, calmly looking over at Catarina, who looked anything but calm. "Catarina," Alec said cautiously. "Just, don't do anything rash, okay? Just breathe, and let's figure out what to do."

Catarina looked shocked at Alec's nonchalant behavior, but knew he was right. She nodded, controlling her breathing. "Okay, we need to start compressions."

Alec frowned. "But the wound," he stated. 

They were speaking quickly, frantically, but still managing to stay calm. 

"I know, Alec, but that's all we've got right now."

Alec didn't really want to repeatedly apply pressure to the wound, but he knew it had to be done. He put his right hand over his left, and rested them over Magnus' heart, right next to the wound that was still pouring blood. He began pumping down, counting to five with each compression, then taking in a full breath of air and giving it to Magnus through mouth to mouth. 

It went on for nearly five minutes before Alec gave up and looked at Catarina hopelessly when nothing was happening. Catarina grunted, finally losing some of her composure, and her hands glowed. She rested them just above his chest, and her magic flared, and Magnus jerked. 

When Catarina saw Alec looking at her with a look of confusion, she explained. "It's like resuscitation but with magic. You know, with defibrillators?"

Alec nodded, finally understanding what it was she was doing. Sending shocks to restart the heart. 

He let her continue, his heart beating loud in his ears. Come on, Magnus, he thought to himself. Come on. 

Nearly two minutes, and no response. Catarina yelled in frustration. "Come on, you old man! We lost Ragnor, I am not about to lose you too!"

With one final, loud burst of Magic, Magnus' body jerked aggressively, and his eyes flew open in panic, his breathing erratic. Alec sighed in relief, hovering over him and stroking his forehead. 

Magnus looked very frightened, and Alec felt his heart clench, because the last time he saw him like that was back at the docks. It was then Alec realized Magnus' blood caked his hands from the CPR.

Alec was trying to shush Magnus, but he was still lost in himself. "Magnus, hey, look at me." Magnus' eyes flew over to him, and he was struggling against the restraints, causing his wound more damage. "Shh," he hushed.

"I was there," Magnus gasped out, relaxing slightly. Alec didn't understand. "I was there, something to do with blood, and you took me out too early!" He sounded angry.

Catarina looked down at Magnus, frowning. "What are you talking about?"

Magnus grunted frustratedly. "I was there, it was a place, and I don't know why, but blood kept coming to my head. I don't remember why, dammit!"

Catarina breathed easily. "Just, calm down. Magnus, what are you talking about?"

"You pulled me out too early, I almost had him, I almost had him." His voice was frantic, panicked. 

Alec was still shushing him. "Magnus, we had to pull you out, you were panicking. All you were doing was remembering getting injured."

Magnus shook his head. "No, I was outside..." he looked to be trying to remember, eyes roaming the room quickly. "I don't remember where I was, but blood had something to do with it."

"Okay," Catarina said, trying to get Magnus to calm down. "Okay, just breathe."

Magnus obliged, but suddenly began coughing, the oxygen mask not working. Blood began bubbling up his mouth.

"By the angel," Alec said, and Catarina panicked, calling for the Shadowhunter nurses. "Stay calm, Magnus."

He was still retching, eyes watering. But whether from tears or coughing he didn't know. "Alec," he gasped out. Blood dribbled down his chin.

It was all happening so fast, suddenly there were nurses and frantic running, then Magnus was losing consciousness because they had injected some sort of sedative into him, and Alec was rushed out of the room.

...

Alec didn't have time to register what had just happened. They did the spell, Magnus so much as died, came back, and now was dying again. 

He felt anger surge in his whole being, and grunted, whirling around to punch the wall. 

He told Catarina not to do the track, he told her it wasn't a good idea. But they did it anyway, and now Magnus was suffering for it. Magnus didn't deserve this, he deserved to be okay.

Alec deserved to feel whatever it was Magnus was feeling.

Pain, fear, loneliness.

He paced outside the infirmary, his anger surging more when he thought about Magnus' blood all over hands. He looked down at them, and growled, rushing to the nearest bathroom to run them in the sink. He scratched at them until his own blood was running out, and he didn't even notice that Isabelle was next to him, begging him to stop.

"Alec, stop it! What are you doing?"

He didn't care, he just kept scrubbing with tears running down his face. 

"Alec, talk to me. Please," Isabelle begged. She had her hands around his wrists, trying to pry them away.

Alec felt his knees weaken, and they buckled, and he fell on the bathroom floor, blood still on his hands. Isabelle went down with him, stroking his hair, looking scared. "I can't wash it off," Alec whispered.

Isabelle looked down at his hands. "This? The blood?" Alec nodded, feeling his eyes dropping. He was utterly exhausted. "Oh, Alec," Isabelle said, and that was the last thing he heard before everything went black.

...

Isabelle held Alec's sleeping, exhausted form, unsure of what to do now. She had just been passing by to see Magnus when she heard the sink running and Alec's labored breathing to see him scrubbing his hands until they bled. 

Her heart had raced, and she became absolutely terrified at the sight, begging him to stop but he wasn't listening. Alec had said he couldn't wash off the blood, but who's blood?

Must be Magnus'. But she thought everything was fine with him now. Unless they were hiding something.

She heard a door open outside in the hallway, and heard footsteps. She saw Catarina peer around the doorway, eyes widening. She also had blood on her hands. She leaned down, inspecting him for injuries. "What happened?"

Isabelle shook her head, mouth still open in shock. She couldn't form words. 

Catarina looked at her, cursing. "Help me get him up." 

Isabelle got one side of Alec, and Catarina the other side. They both helped each other get him out of the bathroom, and into the hallway. "We can take him to his room?" Isabelle suggested.

Catarina shook her head. "Just take him to the infirmary so I can heal his hands and keep an eye on Magnus at the same time."

Isabelle nodded then, and they guided him to the infirmary. They helped him on a bed next to Magnus, who had nurses surrounding him. Isabelle frowned, confused. 

"What the hell happened?" Isabelle asked.

Catarina sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. She shook her head, taking deep breaths. "Come out in the hall," she said, lifting her head to look at her.

Isabelle followed Catarina out the door.

When they were in the hall, Isabelle saw just how tired Catarina looked. She was a shade of blue paler than usual, and she had dark circles under her eyes. She took a deep breath before speaking. "We attempted to track the Circle member who attacked Magnus, but Magnus really was the one tracking him. We did it through the bracelet."

Isabelle blinked, frowning. "Isn't the bracelet meant to block tracking like that?"

Catarina looked hesitant when she nodded. "Yes, and that's why Magnus is hurt. We had to restrain him down because the tracking would be painful, and he struggled against the strap so much that he popped the stitches on his chest and his breathing was so erratic that he re injured the lung."

Isabelle scoffed angrily. "Why would you allow that?"

Catarina sighed. "Magnus wanted to do it, and the only way to get the bracelet off is for the one-"

"Yeah, I know, Alec told me. But that doesn't mean Magnus gets to go off and risk his life like that." 

"Isabelle, listen to me-"

"No," Isabelle snapped. "You shouldn't have allowed Magnus to do that."

Catarina shook her head slowly, feeling guilty. "It was the only way, Isabelle. There was nothing else we could do."

"What state is Magnus in?" Isabelle asked, and Catarina paused, looking scared. When she didn't answer, Isabelle asked again. "Catarina, what state is he in?"

She took a deep breath. "Critical," she said.

Isabelle let go a deep breath, and she shook her head. "By the Angel," she whispered. "Did you even figure out where the Circle member was?"

Catarina nodded. "Well, not exactly. He said he was somewhere that had to do with blood. He kept saying the word during the track and we got frightened that he was panicking and just remembering being injured, but now, I think it's a location."

Isabelle frowned. "A location with the word blood in it?"

"It must be," Catarina confirmed.

"Okay," Isabelle said. "I can look up some close locations with the word blood in it."

"Thank you," Catarina sighed. "I need to go back in there and see about Magnus."

"And my brother," Isabelle reminded before Catarina could walk away.

Catarina nodded, walking back in the infirmary. 

Isabelle went to find locations.

...

Isabelle was knocking on Clary's bedroom door, her heart pounding for her brother and Magnus. "Clary, come on."

Isabelle heard a click, and the door opened to reveal Clary with a messy bun and a T shirt and sweat pants. "Isabelle?"

"I need your help."

Clary furrowed her brows. "What's happened?"

"Magnus is hurt, and it's bad. He won't be able to heal himself if we don't get that bracelet off," she explained. "And my brother is a mess. Just exhausted, nothing too bad, but Magnus..." she looked away.

Clary gripped the door, knuckles white. "I thought he was going to recover."

"He was, but then they tried to track the man who put on the bracelet because only he can get it off. Catarina said they had to restrain him down and the restraints hurt his wound even more, and something about his breathing being too erratic and ruining his lung worse from before," she paused, breathing hard. "Clary he is going to die if we don't get that bracelet off for him to heal himself, or for even Catarina to."

Clary closed her eyes, a lot of information hitting her at once. "Wait," she said. "Did the track work?"

"That's why I need your help," Isabelle begged. "Catarina said Magnus kept saying the word blood, and how maybe that word is part of the location. I need help searching for locations with that word in it, or anything associating with that." 

Clary nodded, walking out of her room, and closing the door behind her. "Ops room?"

Isabelle nodded, smiling. "Ops room," she confirmed, and they took off.

...

They were in the ops room, checking out some basic locations with bars and restaurants, but none of them had anything to do with blood. It must be further out in the city. Isabelle looked away from her screen to Clary. "Go wider into the city," she said.

Clary nodded, typing and swiping at the screens to get more out. "Do you think we will figure this out?" Clary asked, voice hesitant.

Isabelle looked from her screen again to Clary, who was swallowing. "I can only hope that we will. We have to, Magnus will die."

"Have you seen him since the track went wrong?"

Isabelle shook her head. "No, I didn't even know they were doing the track. It must not have been pleasant, considering he was strapped down like some animal." She clenched her teeth. "It makes me so mad," she said. "They shouldn't have done that."

Clary shrugged. "I understand why," she said. "I mean, Magnus' magic is precious to him. It's like taking art away from me, or archery from Alec. It's something vital, even though it's not."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, taking magic away from Magnus is like taking away air. It's needed for him, and I can't even begin to imagine what it's like for him to know it's there and not be able to reach it. It's gotta be torture," she finished, and Isabelle blinked. 

"Yes, you're probably right. It's just... I understand why, but he didn't need to."

"But maybe he did," Clary said. "What other choice did they have? Magnus needs his magic, and that bracelet is taking it away; blocking it."

"But he didn't need it," Isabelle said. "He was healing, and he was going to be fine. He could have waited until he was recovered to do the track, and he just made it worse on himself. That's what makes me mad. He could have waited, and my brother wouldn't be a big emotional wreck right now."

Oh, Clary thought. That's what this is about. Sisterly love and protection. 

"Isabelle," she said, turning away from her screen completely to face her. "Alec did what he did on his own will, and he did it because he loves Magnus. He didn't do it on purpose, love drove him. And it's not Magnus' fault either. It's not his fault that he's dying right now. It's the Circle members fault, and we're going to find him, and we're going to bring him back here to get that bracelet off." Clary's voice was determined, and Isabelle felt her heart tighten.

Clary was right, obviously. She just... she needed to target her anger somewhere. 

And she needed to target it to the man who was killing Magnus without actually even touching him. 

She nodded, eyes hard as she looked back at the screen.

...

Catarina sat on a chair, watching Magnus' shaky breath after healing Alec, who was still asleep. He had an oxygen mask on again. She had her hand in Magnus', which was cold as ice. He was pale, as if he had lost too much blood, which he had. His brows were furrowed as if in pain. Catarina could hear the blood and fluid move around in his chest with every breath, and she wanted to tear her hair out.

He's dying. 

He looked thinner than before, and he had dark moons under his eyes. 

He's dying.

There was the thinnest sheen of sweat on his forehead.

He's dying.

Dying, dying, dying...

Catarina squeezed his hand. She couldn't stand this. Her and Magnus had just lost Ragnor, and she couldn't lose him too. She remembered the day she had gone to see Magnus so they could mourn.

It was not a pretty day. Magnus broke down, saying he felt like he lost a brother. Which he basically had. Ragnor saved his life, and Magnus saved hers. 

They were a family, and Catarina was about to lose her last shred of it.

She cursed herself, sighing. She sounded as though she had already given up. She didn't want to give up. She wanted to keep fighting, but Magnus literally looked like death, and he didn't look like he was going to get better.

There was a sharp intake of breath behind him. She looked over her shoulder to see Alec stirring on the bed. She stood up, leaving Magnus to care for Alec. "Alec?"

"Hmm..." Alec mumbled, trying to pry his eyes open. He fluttered them a few times, but finally, his hazel eyes were looking up dazedly at Catarina. "Magn..."

"He's okay," she lied, stroking his hair. "Just sleep, he's fine."

Alec's eyes closed again. "Y're lying..." he slurred.

Catarina felt tears well in her eyes. This was all just so damn hard. "Just sleep, Alexander, everything will be fine."

Another lie.

Alec was sleeping again, his breathing even and easy, unlike the man on the other side of her.

She turned back around to Warlock behind her, and sat back down in the chair. She sighed again, stroking his brow with her thumb. Magnus still looked to be in pain. 

Suddenly, he grunted, and he shifted, breath quickening. 

"Shh," she hushed. He calmed a bit, and his breath wheezed, brows still furrowed. "We're going to get you out of this, I promise." 

Magnus didn't reply no matter how much she wished he would. 

There were footsteps behind her, but she didn't care enough to turn around. "He doesn't have much longer," the nurse behind her said.

Catarina swallowed, feeling tears prick again. "How much longer?"

The nurse exhaled before answering. "No more than eight hours." Catarina allowed tears to fall then. "His lung is severely damaged and all the blood and fluid in the other lung is severely damaging it too. We can't flush it out. The wound is infected now, and no matter what we do to it, it doesn't help it. His fever is too high, and we can't drop it. Not to mention his body is probably overly exhausted-"

Catarina had her eyes closed, as if blocking herself from the blows of information coming her way. "Stop," she interrupted the nurse. It was silent then, and more tears streamed down her face. "Thank you," she said, indicating she wished for the nurse to leave.

She heard a shuffle, and she was alone.

...

"Clary, look at this," Isabelle said, eyes narrowed as she looked at the information in the screen. Clary leaned over her shoulder to look. "This is a hotel just a little outside of the city."

Clary saw the name. "Bloody Barron," it read. "Why call a hotel that?" She asked herself.

Isabelle smirked, believing they have found the place. "They say it's haunted, but people keep going there anyways. There have been eye witnesses saying they see blood on the walls and then in an instant it's gone."

Clary shivered. "Gross," she said. "You think he's there?"

"He's got to be. There's not really a chance he's at the docks because after he stabbed Magnus he ran away. Why go back when he is most certainly sure we'll come for him to get the bracelet off?" 

"Touché," Clary agreed. "That makes sense, he's most likely not at the docks."

"It's got to be here," Isabelle said. She smiled, turning off the screen, and standing up. "Lets go tell Catarina," she said.

Clary nodded and they were on their way to the infirmary.

...

When Isabelle and Clary entered the room, Alec was sitting on a chair near Magnus' bedside. Catarina was standing over him, rubbing his shoulders. Alec looked absolutely broken. He was thinner than usual, and he looked tired. He was stroking Magnus' forehead with his thumb.

Magnus looked awful, Isabelle thought. Her and Clary exchanged a look. "By the Angel," Clary whispered, and not even that go Alec's attention. 

Catarina looked over her shoulder to them, and walked up. "Anything?" She asked, and it sounded desperate. 

Isabelle spoke first. "We have a hotel outside the city called The Bloody Barron. We think he's there."

Alec still didn't react, just continued to whisper sweet nothings to Magnus. 

Catarina nodded. "When will you go?"

"Right away," Clary said. "If possible," she looked at Alec. 

Catarina looked back, made a pitiful face, and slowly walked to him. She leaned down next to him, and he dazedly looked back at her. "Alexander," she said, and a sob escaped his throat. "We believe we have found him," she said.

Alec's eyes flickered, and finally, he looked back at the two girls behind him. "Where...?"

"Just a little outside the city," Catarina replied, and it was gentle, as if she were afraid Alec would break. 

She had informed him of Magnus' condition when he woke up, and from then on out, he had been lost inside his own head. He had just spoke to Magnus and told him he would be okay.

Magnus made a small noise, and Alec's attention was on him in an instant. Magnus stirred, chest heaving, and Alec whispered to him. "I'm right here, just breathe."

Magnus gasped something out then, a name. "Alec..." 

"Shh," Alec replied. "I'm here, I am not going anywhere."

Magnus' breathe wheezed some more, and he had gone paler and had gotten more sweaty than from before. His face looked thin. They could see he was in pain.

"Alec..."

"Shh," he hushed again. "You're okay, you're fine." 

Magnus relaxed a little then, but his state did not get any better.

"I'm not going," Alec said, voice hard for Isabelle and Clary to hear him. 

"Alec," Clary tried, but Alec wouldn't have it.

"If there is even the slightest chance that he is there, I trust you two with the mission. But if he isn't... I am not going to waste me and Magnus' time on it..." his voice cracked. "I will not return only to find him dead."

"But Alec," Isabelle said. "He's there, he's got to be."

"Good," Alec said, still not wavering from Magnus' face. "Then go get that bastard and bring him back here.

Nothing more was said, and Magnus was beginning to have another episode, so they just nodded at Catarina and left the room.

...

"I guess we're on our own," Clary said, staring at the door as it closed behind them.

Isabelle sighed, shoulders slacking in defeat. "We can't go out there without Alec," she said. 

Clary shrugged. "Well then what?"

"We need back up," Isabelle replied. "We can't just go in there seraph blades blazing with no reinforcements." 

"Who?" 

Isabelle thought for a moment. "We could ask Lydia?"

"But she wouldn't even help us before."

"That's not true," Isabelle said. "She tried, but she couldn't get the approval from Maryse."

Clary scoffed. "And you really think she's going to this time?"

Isabelle frowned. "We have to try," she said.

Clary sighed, shaking her head. "I don't want to anger her."

"It's either," Isabelle held up one finger. "One, we deal with an angry mother," she held up two fingers. "Or two, we deal with a dead Magnus and a broken Alec. Which sounds better to you?" She asked, putting both fingers down.

Clary sighed again, looking hesitant, but knew it needed to be done. "I guess lets go ask her."

Isabelle smiled. "There you go," she said, and she gestured for her follow her. "Come on, Magnus can't last much longer."

...

Alec had never felt such a heavy heart weighing in his chest before. He'd been upset the first time Magnus got hurt, but at least then he knew he would make it out. Now, Magnus was quiet literally dying, and there was nothing any of the nurses or Catarina could do. 

They'd tried everything. They tried to flush out the fluid and blood, but to no avail. They attempted to medically heal the infected wound, but everything just seemed to make it worse.

And Alec couldn't blame any of the Institute nurses. Most of them didn't know mundane advances to heal someone. All they really knew how to work were the machines such as Magnus' mask. They didn't know a lot about medicine. 

They had considered asking for a mundane ambulance to take Magnus to the hospital, but it was too risky with his demon biology. If they were to take blood, they wouldn't understand it. 

And Catarina said that Magnus' magic had flared a few times, trying to break away from the bracelet, but it wouldn't come out. 

Magnus was fighting, that Alec knew. He could see it in his face, in his body. Every time his magic sparked ever so slightly at his fingertips was him fighting. Every time he would grunt and move and whimper was him fighting; fighting off the pain and death that lingered near him. 

Alec had never felt more useless.

He didn't know what to do but sit here with him and be there for him while Clary and Isabelle raced time to find the man who did this to him. 

Catarina had told him maybe he should begin to say goodbye to him. But like hell that would happen.

Alec had Magnus' freezing hand in his when it twitched, and Catarina wasn't around, so of course Alec panicked a bit. He just ran his fingers through the warlock's sweaty hair. 

Angel, he was burning up. 

He had gone even paler. Alec was sure every time he saw him he was paler than last time he laid eyes on him. 

Sweat was running down his cheeks and down his neck, and that was how Alec knew he was fighting, and fighting hard.

The hand twitched again in Alec's and he shushed him when he moaned. 

"Magnus," he whispered gently. "You're okay, just relax."

Then Magnus did something Alec wasn't expecting at all. His eyes began fluttering, and Alec leaned forward in his seat in apprehension. "Magnus?"

Cat eyes emerged from their lids, and they were not as golden as they usually were. They were exhausted, and nearly gray. "Alec..." he breathed out, then struggled to breathe back in. Every breath Magnus took was a struggle.

"By the Angel, Magnus, you're awake." He exhaled in relief.

His eyes were barely open, but they were, and Alec's heart was racing. Magnus weakly squeezed Alec's hand. He swallowed, and grimaced as he did.

"Alexan..." 

"Shh, it's okay. I'm here," Alec said, gently stroking his hair some more. "I'm here."

Magnus' dazed eyes roamed the room confused, as if searching for something that Alec couldn't see. As if anticipating something. 

"Magnus?"

"I... I feel h-him..." Magnus whispered, and Alec could hear fluid moving just in his throat.

Alec frowned. "What?"

"I can f-feel him... hovering." 

Alec shook his head. "I don't understand. You mean the Circle member?"

Magnus weakly shook his own head. He swallowed again, most likely trying to swallow the blood in his throat so he could speak properly. It was still hoarse and wet when he spoke again. "My father..."

Alec gasped slightly, blinking. "Your father?"

"He's waiting..." Magnus whispered, and Alec could have sworn a small son escaped from Magnus' lips.

Alec felt heartbroken. No one really knew what happened to warlocks when they die, but most of them knew it had something to do with their fathers. And Magnus just said his was hovering. 

Hovering? 

As in... in the room?

"Can you see him?" Alec asked, unsure.

Magnus tried to clear his throat, but only caused a bit of blood to sprinkle at his lips. Alec quickly grabbed a rag and wiped it away. "No..." Magnus replied, and Alec saw tears forming in his cat eyes. "But he's there, I can feel him."

Alec licked his lips, unsure of what to do. Call Cat? "Is it a nice presence?"

Magnus scoffed ever so slightly, and caused more blood to come up. Alec wiped it away again. "My father's pre... presence is anything but nice..." his small smile fell, and he blinked, and Alec could tell he was about to cry, but what holding it in.

"I don't want to die, Alexander..." Magnus sobbed out, and Alec felt tears streaming out of his own eyes. "My father... he is so... cruel..." 

Alec was shaking his head. "You're not going to die," he choked out.

Magnus' eyes glided towards him again. They were wet. "I was happy..." he said, and a tear finally escaped from Magnus' left eye, sliding down his cheek. Alec wiped it away gently. 

"What do you mean?"

Magnus struggled to draw in a breath. "I've struggled... Alexander... to make something of my-myself. To... not dwell on those I lose... I've been stuck in this b-black abyss that I c-couldn't get out of." 

Alec hiccuped, taking deep breaths. Tears were flowing. 

Magnus was doing a better job at keeping them in, but he shouldn't have to. "You... Alexander, you pulled me out," Magnus sobbed again, and blood tinted his teeth. 

Alec cried harder. "Magnus," he whispered. "Please, don't leave me."

More tears streamed down Magnus' face, and Alec had never seen Magnus like that, and he hated it. "I don't want to... Alexander, I don't want to."

"Keep fighting," Alec begged. "Isabelle and Clary are on their way to find the Circle member as we speak, please..." he took a deep breath. "Please, don't stop fighting."

Magnus swallowed again. "I will never stop fighting for you."

Alec broke completely down then, and leaned his forehead on Magnus' side, making sure to avoid the wound. "I love you," Alec gasped out.

Magnus couldn't really move, but he forced his arm up to rest on Alec's back. "I love you, too, my Alexander..." his voice was barely audible, and Alec knew he was about to lose consciousness again.

He didn't come back up though. 

Until Magnus said something that broke Alec's very soul.

"Let me see you... one last time."

Alec sobbed harder, sniffing and bringing his head slowly and painfully back up. Magnus looked so sad and so afraid. His blue lips trembled. "Never forget... Alexander, please, don't ever forget what I was to you."

"Stop it," Alec said. "You're not going to die."

"I love you..." Magnus whispered, eyes dropping. "I love you, Alexander Lightwood."

Magnus' whole body went slack as he barely got the last four words out before losing consciousness again. "With all... my heart..."

Alec just cried and cried and cried.

...

When Isabelle and Clary portaled to The Bloody Barren, which looked broken down with just two stories, they entered the small motel and began looking around. They were glamoured, so no one was confused when two girls walked in with blades at their hips and in thigh holsters. 

"Check the second floor," Isabelle instructed. "I'll get the first."

Clary nodded, and was about to walk away, but Isabelle grabbed her. "Remember stay glamoured. Mundanes can't see what's about to go down."

Clary nodded again, and went up the stairs to the second floor.

Isabelle decided to check on the left wing of the first floor first. She looked around the buffet and where a pool table sat, but the man wasn't there. The rooms started on the right side, so she decided to just walk in them and see who was all in them.

She checked every room, but he wasn't down here.

He's got to be upstairs. She went to casually walk up them and find Clary.

But then she heard a scream, and she was running.

...

Clary checked nearly twenty rooms, seraph blade as her side, ready for an attack. She was proud of herself. She'd grown as a Shadowhunter in the past couple of months.

She saw one door that was slightly ajar, and furrowed her brows. She smelled something inside, and it was metallic and new. 

It was blood.

She slowly pushed the door open with a creak, but when she saw what was there, she screamed in desperation and anger.

...

Isabelle was barreling up the stairs, and saw Clary at the end of the hall to the right, and she was standing outside a door labeled 21B, shaking with tears streaming down her face. 

Isabelle grabbed her shoulders, concerned. "Clary, what is it?"

"We screwed, Isabelle..."

Isabelle shook her head, confused. "Why, what's happened?"

Clary just pointed towards the room, shaking more.

It was then Isabelle smelt blood, and it was strong. She took slow footsteps towards the room, and peered around the corner to look inside.

She didn't scream, but she wanted to.

The Circle member was lying face down on the carpet, blood surrounding him. His body showed no signs of breathing.

He was dead.

Isabelle felt anger surge then, and she clenched her fists, grunting, and stomped her foot. She grabbed the nearest object to her, which was a lamp, and threw it across the room. 

"Dammit! Dammit, dammit, dammit!"

Clary snapped out of it then, and went to hug Isabelle. "Shh," she hushed. Clary continued to calm her down before suggesting the next course of action. "Lets call Catarina." She said.

Isabelle pushed out of her embrace gently, and nodded, pulling out her phone. She dialed Catarina's number, and it rang a few times before she answered. She put in on speakerphone. She 

"Hello?" She asked.

"Catarina," Isabelle said, and it was exhalation. 

"What is it, did you find him?"

Isabelle paused, looking at the dead member. "Yeah, we found him."

Catarina sighed in relief over the phone, and Isabelle could practically hear her hopeful smile. "That's great, bring him here."

Isabelle didn't speak for a moment. "Catarina," she said, voice serious.

And then Isabelle could hear the smile fall. "What is it?"

Isabelle took a deep breath before answering. "Catarina, he's dead."

Silence. 

It lasted a long time before she spoke. "Okay, um..." she was trying to figure out what to do. "Okay, I have an idea, but it's our last shot, as it's gross."

Isabelle frowned, believing there was hope. "Okay, what do we need to do?"

"I said that the bracelet wouldn't come off unless it was in contact with the one who put it on, remember?"

Isabelle nodded, looking at Clary. "Yeah," she replied. 

"Okay, well I also said that the carvings on it reacted to the skin of the one who put it on..." she said awkwardly.

Isabelle blinked, grimacing. "Are you telling me to take a sample of his skin?"

"Worse," Catarina replied. 

"Then what?" Clary asked. 

"We need his hand."

Silence again.

Clary and Isabelle exchanged gross looks, and winced. "Um..." Isabelle started. "Okay... um, yeah, we can do that..."

"Just... try not to think about it," Catarina suggested. 

"Okay, we'll start now."

"Okay," Catarina said. "And Isabelle?"

"Yeah?"

Catarina swallowed before continuing. "Hurry, he doesn't have much longer at all."

Isabelle pinched the bridge of her nose. "Angel... okay, we're hurrying."

Clary took her blade again, and walked towards the corpse.

"Hurry," Catarina said one more time before hanging up.

Isabelle slipped her phone back in her pocket before helping Clary with the nasty part.

...

Catarina hung up, looking back at the slouching Alec sitting next to the barely breathing Magnus.

His lips were bluer, and his skin was nearly porcelain. Sweat covered his body, making his clothes wet and his hair stick to his face. His chest wasn't even moving up an inch before going back down, struggled. 

His brows weren't furrowed anymore, and his mouth was slightly open. 

He looked like he could not take anymore.

Alec was still holding his hand and whispering to him. 

"I'm so sorry," Alec choked out. "I'm sorry..."

Catarina went to him and put a hand on his shoulder. "We have one last chance, Alec. Don't give up yet."

Tears just flowed out of Alec's eyes, and he looked exhausted.

"He promised me he would be okay," Alec whispered. "He swore to me... this isn't fair... Catarina he's scared, you should have heard him."

Catarina felt tears well in her own eyes, but knew there was one last shred of hope, and pushed them away.

"I can't lose him," Alec said. He ran his fingers along the bracelet around Magnus' sweaty wrist. 

"There is still hope, Alexander."

As if on cue, a portal appeared in the room, and Clary and Isabelle walked out of it, looking frightened and rushed. "We got it," Isabelle said, holding the man's left hand in a cloth. 

Catarina grimaced, but grabbed it quickly, and Alec didn't waver from Magnus. She unwrapped the cloth slightly, and winced when she saw all the blood. 

Alec moved away then, giving Catarina room, but he still didn't look away from Magnus. Isabelle came up and grabbed his left hand while Clary grabbed the other. 

She hovered the hand around the bracelet, but nothing was happening. Magnus' breath hitched then, and she knew he only had minutes left. 

She needed to figure this out now.

She grabbed the hand completely, uncaring that it was still dripping blood and placed it on the bracelet.

They all watched in anticipation for what would happen next.

Alec felt his heart beating in his chest. Please, please work, please work, please work. 'I love you Magnus, come on,' he thought.

Clary had tears and she could hear her heartbeat in her ears. 'You're a friend of mine, Magnus, you mean a lot to me. You took care of me while I was a child, I don't want to lose you.'

Isabelle was crying too. 'You're my best friend, Magnus. We like the same make up lines and clothes and we both love Alec very much. Please, don't leave us. You're family.'

They all needed him. 

They were all a family.

They loved him like family.

There was a click, and they all squeezed each other's hands so hard, worried, and scared that there last shred of hope was ruined. But when the bracelet snapped off, they all released breaths that they didn't know they were holding.

...

Catarina had kicked everyone out of the room, working quickly at healing every bit of Magnus efficiently. Alec had protested of course, but Isabelle and Clary got him out of the room so she could work. It had been three hours since.

Now they all three were pacing outside the infirmary doors, waiting for her to emerge out like an angel and tell them everything was okay now.

Clary spoke. 

"Who do you think killed the Circle member?"

Alec shook his head. "I don't know, and I don't care. He can burn in hell." His voice was deep, and deadly; unlike Alec.

Clary and Isabelle exchanged nervous glances. Isabelle spoke next. "Well, yes, but isn't it strange?"

"I'm sure he just got mixed up in something he shouldn't have," Alec replied. "It doesn't bother me. It's just one of those things we'll never know. They say that hotel is haunted, well maybe it is. But by demons. It makes sense. A demon probably got him."

Oh... that did make sense. They should probably send some Shadowhunters to see to that.

"Besides," Alec continued. "It's none of my concern anymore. He's dead, Magnus will be okay, and I can finally breathe again."

Isabelle came to his side. "I know this has been hard for you, Alec. I'm sorry."

He shrugged. "It's Magnus I am more worried about."

Clary frowned. "But, he's okay now."

He shook his head. "No, I know that. I mean... I think he's been emotionally hurt by all of this. He nearly died twice, and it scared him. He was scared..." he closed his eyes to get a grip of himself. "He spoke to me... a little before you guys arrived back with the hand. He was absolutely terrified. He said he could feel his father." 

Isabelle and Clary looked down, bothered at the fact that Magnus usually wasn't like that, and it was so foreign.

"He said he didn't want to die," Alec finished. 

"Oh, Alec," Isabelle said, pulling him into a hug. Alec allowed tears to flow then. 

"He was so scared, Izzy... he was saying goodbye... I couldn't handle it, my heart could never handle losing him..."

"Good thing you're not, then," a voice behind them said, and it was Catarina, smiling, though looking very tired. "He's okay, Alexander Lightwood. And he's awake."

Alec released himself from Isabelle then. He turned around to look at her. His tears were still sliding down his cheeks, but he couldn't stop the smiling forming on his features. "Angel..."

"Go, Alexander," Catarina moved out of the way, allowing Alec access inside.

The door closed behind him, but not before he could smile at Isabelle and Clary as they smiled back. 

He looked at Magnus, sitting up in bed. He looked at Magnus, awake. He looked at Magnus, not as pale as death anymore. He looked at Magnus, not sweat and fever induced. He looked at Magnus, the man he loved more than anything he thought possible.

And Magnus looked at him, and smiled softly. "Alexander," he said. 

Alec was by his side in an instant, sitting on the side of the bed next to him. "How are you feeling?"

Magnus thought for a moment. "I'm a little tired," he said, laughing softly. "But other than that I am fine."

Alec smiled wider. "That's so great, Magnus... I thought... oh, by the angel, I don't even want to think about it." He bent down to hug Magnus, who hugged him back. But then Alec realized Magnus might still be injured and pulled back apologizing.

"Oh, no," Magnus said, waving his hand dismissively. "It's nothing now." He pulled his shirt down to show where the wound used to be. It was nothing more than a thick pink scar. "Healed," Magnus chirped. 

Alec chuckled, wiping away his tears. "I can't explain to you how much I love you."

Magnus looked away then, as if ashamed. "I'm sorry," he said.

"What?"

"I'm sorry for putting through what I put you through. I just wanted... I needed my magic, Alexander. I can't live without it."

Alec grabbed his chin gently and pulled him to look at him. "Magnus," he whispered. "I know."

Magnus made a pitiful face. "Oh, Alexander. You look so sad."

Alec widened his toothy grin. "I'm not," he said shaking his head. "I'm so incredibly happy that I get to have a life with you. I love you."

Magnus made a sad face then. "I love you too, Alexander, with all my heart."

The pulled themselves into each other's embrace again, and they stayed like that. 

Until Alec pulled back and kissed Magnus, full on the lips. Magnus was shocked at first, with a gasp, but melted into it soon and began running his hands through Alec's hair. Alec swung his legs over Magnus, now sitting on top of him, still kissing Magnus. 

Magnus was desperately reaching for more every time Alec pulled back for breath. 

Magnus never felt more alive.

They continued until Alec started to fiddle with Magnus' shirt, trying to take it off, but Magnus suddenly pulled back. "Alexander," he breathed. He was gasping for breath, and he felt relieved when it didn't hurt.

"What, did I go too far?" Alec asked shyly.

Magnus shook his head, looking at the boy's lips. "No, it's just... I'm really... you know..."

"What?"

Magnus smiled. "Nothing," he said. He was going to stop it, because maybe Alec didn't really want to. He could see how tired he was. He wanted Alec to get some sleep. But then he saw the want in Alec's eyes, and he felt the want in his own heart, and pulled Alec back down.

They were kissing again, full, and desperate, and deep. Magnus helped Alec get his shirt off. 

Magnus began to play with the zipper of Alec's pants, and Alec smiled against Magnus' lips. Magnus smiled when he locked the door of the infirmary, making sure no one would enter. 

Their tongues were playing with each other, and soon they were both naked and in each other's arms, making love until they couldn't do so anymore.

They were next to each other an hour later, sweaty and gasping, and happy; content with life.

"I love you, Magnus Bane."

Magnus smiled, and curled into Alec's side. "I love you too, Alexander."

And they both said at the same time, "with all my heart."

And they fell asleep in each other's arms, knowing everything would be okay.


End file.
